Iona

.... is my daughter's name.


Isn't she beautiful? She arrived just before lunchtime last Friday, via c-section as planned and weighing 6lb 6.5oz or 2.9kg. We are both well and came home on Monday. Now we're all just getting used to doing what needs doing.


I've got to a stage where I need to connect more with the things I was doing before she arrived - including my stitching and blogging. It would be far too easy to let Iona take over my life, but I feel that if I do that then I'll end up as depressed and isolated as I was last time and I swear I never want to go there again. I'd like to be able to enjoy the time I have with her.

Still here

So I'm still here and still waiting. I had the membrane sweep last Thursday, but it doesn't seem to have made any difference. The latest news is that if nothing happens before this Friday, I'll be going into hospital then for a caesarian.

The caesarian is by my own choice, not dictated by medical need, but weighing up the options, I believe it's the best choice for me and my family. If I had chosen induction, then it could still have been 24 hours or more and I could still have ended up needing a caesarian. The risks associated with a normal birth after a previous caesarian are also greater for induction.

To me the main advantages in having the caesarian are in the control we (me, DH and DS) have over what happens on the day. I'll go into hospital early on Friday morning and the baby should be with us by the time DS comes out of school on Friday afternoon - meaning minimal disruption for DS and I don't need to worry about where he's going to be and who's going to look after him while I'm in hospital. I also feel more comfortable for DH coming with me for the caesarian - he can be very squeamish and hates hospitals, and I was never entirely sure how he would react to being with me in labour. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it would be a major problem, it was just an unknown factor, and something else I would worry about. With the caesarian, we at least know what we're letting ourselves in for.

Do I sound as if I've persuaded myself that I've made the right decision yet?

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In the meantime, here are some photos of another box I've made - I think I like this one even better than the last one.


I chose this design as I wanted to have a go at the folded patchwork lid - I've never done anything like that before and I'm rather pleased with the end result. The folded patchwork was quite straightforward, but a bit fiddly and I cheated, using fabric glue rather than stitching each little fabric triangle in place individually.

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I'd like to thank everybody who has been leaving comments and good wishes. I'm really grateful for every kind word and all your support. I'm not sure when I'll get the chance to blog next, perhaps not for a couple of weeks. Hopefully things will settle enough after that!

Edgy

I'm just back from the hospital today and feeling rather edgy. I hadn't intended to blog, but sometimes it's better to let it out than keep it in. It would be nice to be able to talk to my mother or sister about this sort of thing, but somehow when I talk to them, they both manage to say completely the wrong thing and just wind me up. They make me feel like having a normal birth is the only realistic option, and having a caesarian would be some kind of failure.

Anyway, my due date is tomorrow, 9th April, so I've made it! I don't think I really expected to last this long. At the same time, it all feels rather unreal, and the prospect of actually going into labour is a bit scary. I'll be speaking to my midwife tomorrow and the doctor at the hospital has recommended that we arrange a membrane sweep which could get things started within 48 hours.

I don't know why I'm worrying in a way. After all, going into labour is the normal outcome of becoming pregnant. The prospect of having the membrane sweep somehow just makes things feel that bit more imminent. And once I go into labour, I feel like I'm not in control any more. Maybe that's the bit that bothers me most - I am a bit of a control freak!

My blood pressure has also been rising over the last week or so, and if it continues to rise, then there's also the possibility that things may be taken out of my hands from that perspective.

On the other hand, if nothing happens by next Tuesday I'll be back at the hospital discussing my options for induction or caesarian. If given the choice at that point, I may just opt for the caesarian.

In the mean time, I'm still playing the waiting game. I wish I could settle down to a nice bit of stitching, but can't think of anything I feel like working on. Maybe I'll go and do some baking.

Titch

Once upon a time there was a monkey. He lived in a nice house with a nice family and some lovely knitted friends.


The humans who lived with him were very kind. They played games with him, took him on holiday and named him Zero-X1.


However, this was not a happy monkey. He did not know any other monkeys made of knit and this made him sad. He was a sad monkey, a lonely monkey, a blue monkey.


But one day, Zero-X1 was in for a surprise. Suddenly, Titch appeared.


Titch was a lively little fellow and Zero-X1 loved him.



Zero-X1 was now a happy monkey – he was no longer a lone monkey of knit. He and Titch played together endlessly.



Zero-X1 was happy.


And they lived happily ever after. The End.