Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Edgy

I'm just back from the hospital today and feeling rather edgy. I hadn't intended to blog, but sometimes it's better to let it out than keep it in. It would be nice to be able to talk to my mother or sister about this sort of thing, but somehow when I talk to them, they both manage to say completely the wrong thing and just wind me up. They make me feel like having a normal birth is the only realistic option, and having a caesarian would be some kind of failure.

Anyway, my due date is tomorrow, 9th April, so I've made it! I don't think I really expected to last this long. At the same time, it all feels rather unreal, and the prospect of actually going into labour is a bit scary. I'll be speaking to my midwife tomorrow and the doctor at the hospital has recommended that we arrange a membrane sweep which could get things started within 48 hours.

I don't know why I'm worrying in a way. After all, going into labour is the normal outcome of becoming pregnant. The prospect of having the membrane sweep somehow just makes things feel that bit more imminent. And once I go into labour, I feel like I'm not in control any more. Maybe that's the bit that bothers me most - I am a bit of a control freak!

My blood pressure has also been rising over the last week or so, and if it continues to rise, then there's also the possibility that things may be taken out of my hands from that perspective.

On the other hand, if nothing happens by next Tuesday I'll be back at the hospital discussing my options for induction or caesarian. If given the choice at that point, I may just opt for the caesarian.

In the mean time, I'm still playing the waiting game. I wish I could settle down to a nice bit of stitching, but can't think of anything I feel like working on. Maybe I'll go and do some baking.

20 comments:

Mary said...

I'm glad that you have made it to your due date. That's good news. I'll be thinking of you and saying a little prayer that all goes well you and the wee one.

Julie said...

Bless you, i think every mum feels out of control when it all gets into the swing of things. I'm sure it will all turn out well for you, the most important thing is that both baby and you are fine and whatever it takes for that to happen so be it, go with the flow. Lots of love and {{good luck hugs}} i'll be thinking of you and awaiting some piccies of your little boy cuddling up with his new baby

Christine said...

Good luck! I am sure everything will turn out all right. And any misgivings will be gone the second you see that little face.

Vonna said...

YOU MADE IT! So many congratulations on that...and I understand the edgy feeling...soon it will all be over and you will have your baby in your arms :)
GOOD LUCK for the upcoming days and decisions!

Jessica said...

Congratulations!
I will be thinking of you! I am now 25 weeks, and trying to keep really positive. I have to have a c-section. Not what I wanted, but what I have to do. I am nervous too! You will have to tell me all about your experience. I am praying for you and the baby! GOOD LUCK!!!!!
Can't wait to know what the little blessing is!
-Jessica

Paula said...

Good luck. I'm sure that whatever happens, everything will be fine.

Sally said...

Wow, fantastic that you've made it to your due date!! Thinking of you and looking forward to metting your little one soon:)

Barbara said...

Fingers and toes crossed for a quick and happy outcome. I sent you an email, btw. Take care!!!

Kitty said...

Well done for making it to 40 weeks. I know from reading your past posts that you felt you might not get here.

I had a membrane sweep with No.2 to try to get him going - but it was another 3 days before I actually went into labour.

I'm sure you'll be fine (((hugs))) ... those tiddlers tend to come when they're ready and not before! Will be thinking of you.

Good luck! x

Monkee Maker said...

You go with what feels right for you and the baby .... not what others may consider "normal".

Good luck! I'll be thinking of your and doing some long forgotten pelvic floor exercises tomorrow!

:)

ps. If all else fails, I found that pushing a car helped get things started with RBD2!

Sonda in OR said...

Hang in there and ignore your mom & sister! I'll be thinking of you. "Healthy baby...healthy mom!" That's what counts!

Kathy A. said...

I'll say a little prayer for you. You do whatever is in the best interests of the baby and yourself and be damned to everyone else. Will be cheering you on and awaiting baby pictures. {{{{hugs}}}

Rowyn said...

Good luck, hope all goes well. Look forward to seeing some baby photos in the future.

Cheryl said...

Good luck for all that lies ahead. I will be thinking about you and anxiously awaiting news {{hugs}}

Andrea said...

Good luck with everything, just keep thinking about yourself and baby.

Margaret said...

How wonderful that you made it to your due date. It truly doesn't matter how the little one is born as long as you are both well. Looking forward to seeing pictures of your new pride and joy.

Wanda said...

Glad you made it to your due date! You should do what you thinkis best ceasaran or otherwise. It will all come out well I am sure! Best wishes!!

Chiloe said...

First time here : hpe you'll have a safe delivery ;)

mymarkdesigns said...

Well goodness... any news yet? I hope everything is going great for you!!

the vicious chicken said...

Hope all is going OK with you, Lesley - I've been a bit sparse in my blogland comments recently, but I've been thinking of you and hoping all is well.

All best wishes,
VCxx